I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
