But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
