Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
