Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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