i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
