a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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