it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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