We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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