I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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