omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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