So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
