is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
