1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
