the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
