He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
