grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
There are leaves in my underwear?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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