i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
