Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
one might say we're banned from that church
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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