We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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