So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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