All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
