i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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