Plan B is the new Plan A
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
