I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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