Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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