Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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