I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
