At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
