We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
