Me too!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
