who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
