What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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