ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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