Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
