Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
