why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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