My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
