Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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