I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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