I wish I could teleport
another moral hangover. fuck.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
