I wish I could teleport
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I came so hard my ears popped.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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