did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
