So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Alive.
So much puke
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
