the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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