I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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