Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize