I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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