There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
