He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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