Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize