There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
