Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
even my farts smell like vagina
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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