im so drunk with asians
where?
always
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
