watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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