Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
did i just pee glitter
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
