Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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