Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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