Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
